“Hair” you are.

So fine, you asked for it.  I was disinclined to acquiesce to your request (name that movie) because I don’t normally like to put pictures of myself on the blog (namely because I don’t generally like pictures of myself), but I like most all of you, so here you are.

This was me (as you may remember) pre-haircut:

There was an in-between haircut that I do not have a photo of, but was supposed to look (and kind of did) like this:

but it was too shaggy on me, and apparently looked like I hadn’t done my hair even when I had.

So I got it cut to this:

and now I’m much happier.

The end.

On Becoming a *Morning Person*

If I had things my way, the day would not properly begin before 9am.

As things stand right now, my mornings will typically go like this: wake up to Berry Guy’s alarm that he sets for 6am just so he can turn it off an sleep until 7:30am, but which he never hears, requiring me to smack nudge him so that he can turn it off before it wakes Berry Baby.

Stumble out of bed and refill Berry Baby’s sippy cup because he has now been wakened by Berry Guy’s alarm. Tuck him back in and stumble back to bed. Pray that he falls back to sleep.

Slumber on until the last possible minute or longer, then stagger out to the kitchen to start coffee. Try not to snap at the boys who are already awake and have been asking for the last 20 minutes if I’m going to “be awake yet”. No. No I’m not.

Crabbily provide the boys with cereal, sit down and sip my coffee while contemplating the fact that I should read my bible/get dressed/shower/run/do some work/finish the dishes/tidy up the disaster in the living room.

Continue to sip my coffee and do none of those things.

Now, on a good morning, I will eventually get in a run, or fold some laundry, or something. And I will be dressed sometime before noon. Work days are the best because I am forced to get up, showered, and dressed right away.

On a bad morning, I will get dressed just before Berry Guy is due home from work, or only if I am forced to go to town for something.

So one morning, I woke up at 7:30am, and the boys were still sleeping (shock and awe). And I was rested (more shock and awe). So I got up (of my own free will) and started my coffee. I sipped it and read my bible. I had 15 minutes of blissful, uninterrupted time with my coffee and my thoughts before the boys realized that they had mistakenly slept past 6:30. It was wonderful. And I felt great! I wasn’t snappy at the boys, I was happy to see them, I got tons of stuff done that day, and I loved it.

So I tried it again the next day, with similar results. So I started to think about this, and I decided that I needed to become a morning person.

First of all, I need to get a run in, and the days are now hot, but the mornings are cooler. I love running in the evenings, but often it doesn’t work, or there’s a thunder storm, or I’m just plain tired. But if I run in the morning, first thing, then I’ve done it and it’s out of the way. Plus, it forces me to have a shower right away as well. Which forces me to get dressed.

Second, being up before the kids helps me mentally. I love having those first moments of the day to myself, no demands on my time. I just feel more relaxed through the day, and I’m way more patient and tolerant with the boys.

Third, I accomplish so much more, because I feel way more motivated. I’m not entirely sure why this is – maybe I have more momentum, maybe because the morning doesn’t already feel half gone by the time my eyes become less bleary…I’m not sure.

Fourth, I get my bible reading done. I get a chance to sit on my deck, with my coffee, and read. Sometimes I get to do this before the boys are up. Sometimes I get to do it after my run and shower. But I always seem to get it done early, instead of as a second thought later in the day.

So, for those reasons, I am trying to convert myself. No easy task, let me tell you. I am notoriously NOT a morning person, not in the least. And those early morning runs…ugh. My body still thinks the idea is ridiculous and tries to stage a sit-down at every mile mark. So far this week though, I’ve done not too bad. Monday I got up at 6am and ran. Tuesday I slept a little later but still got up before kiddos, and worked in the afternoon. Wednesday was another 6am run. Thursday (today) I worked in the morning and it was hard to get up but there were extenuating circumstances. Tomorrow I will (Lord willing) get up again for a run.

I’m not sure, but I think this is the way things need to be right now. I’ve been feeling like I’m floundering in the motivation department, and this seems to be helping. As well, I’m off my antidepressant, and I’m doing ok but I think I could be doing better, and this seems to make a difference.

So that is my lengthy explanation – any tips on running early and/or just getting up are appreciated. Encouragement in general is never refused.

*grin*

Happy Birthday To Me

I’m currently trying to figure out how long I can use “…because it’s my birthday” before it starts to lose its meaning.  As in “I can eat a Costco caramel sundae AND a DQ blizzard in one day, because it’s my birthday”, or “I will stop at Starbucks twice, because it’s my birthday”, or “maybe you could wash the dishes tonight because it’s my birthday” or “I think you should put both the boys to bed tonight because it’s my birthday”…

I’m thinking I have the whole week.  I will just amend it to “because it’s my birthday week” and call it good.

Birthday week started off with a bang.  I met two of my good friends in the city on Sunday and we hung out, had a great meal, ate Blizzards, and laughed and talked and sat in Starbucks and talked some more.  I get together with these two maybe twice a year, and each time we spend time catching up, and then more time “getting down to it”, so to speak.  Halfway through our visit, we’ll tackle the “how are you really doing” and get down to the gritty stuff.   I love it.  I love how easy it is with them, and how honest we always are with each other.  And how it makes me feel accountable, knowing that at least two other people out there know that I’m struggling with prayer, or with my devotional life, or that I’m doing ok off my antidepressant, or whatnot.  It was a really really great day.

Today, my actual birthday (I am 25 35)I started the day off with an early morning run.  This is the second early morning run this week, and my body isn’t quite sure what I think I am doing.  It keeps yelling at me “THIS ISN’T HOW WE DO THINGS!!” as I run at 6am.  And it’s right.  Usually we stay in bed as long as humanly possible, then stagger out to the kitchen for strong coffee.  Running right off the bat seems cruel, but it’s part of my plan to become a “morning person”.  I’ll elaborate more on that later.  It’s a post all on it’s own, believe me.

Anyway, once I was showered and dressed, two different friends whisked me off to the city for the day, complete with free babysitting.  We had coffee and massive cinnamon buns, then more coffee, then I got to shop leisurely at The Gap (and several other places), then food court Chinese food (yummmm), then more coffee, more shopping…*sigh*.  It was great.

THEN, my fabulous husband, knowing my ice cream addiction, and knowing that it was a blistering 30C again today, picked up some dry ice and four different kinds of Blizzards from DQ, and brought them all the way home.  He invited some friends over, and we sat on the new deck furniture (pictures to come soon) and visited over coffee and ice cream.  Heavenly.

On FRIDAY (because, as I mentioned before, it’s birthday week…), some girls are coming here and throwing a brunch – I can’t wait!  Nothing I love more than good friends and food and coffee.  So fun.

I’m thinking nail polish?

Apparently, there is this thing called “Runner’s Toe”.  It’s not very pretty.  I had to go to the doctor to get the nail *drained*, which is about as nice as it sounds.  Then I got to do it again at home by myself.  And now, I get to wait for the nail to fall off completely. 

Good times.

In the meantime, I think I’ll invest in some spanky nail polish.

How dark do you think I’d have to go to cover that up…

Yittle.

I am not, ummm, *generously* proportioned in the upper regions of my body.  This has certain advantages – like, I can buy the really cute and pretty bras, and I can run while wearing very light support.  It also has (obvious) disadvantages, but I try not to think about them.  I was, however, just reminded of a funny story concerning my breasts (or lack thereof) and I figured it would make for a good blog post, since I have nothing else to write about…

Back when my niece was 3, she and her family came out to the farm for a visit.  Being the active people we are, and them being outdoorsy, we thought it would be nice to take them on a hike.  It was late Spring, warm, and sunny.

I was wearing my favorite sports bra and a tank top with some shorts.  Now my niece was 3, and her little legs were tired.  She was also ridiculously cute, and since she was walking with me and holding my hand, I volunteered to carry her for a while.

As we’re walking along the trail, me carrying her on my hip, she gently pats me on the (upper) chest and says “I’m just a yittle (little) girl, so I just have yittle breasts”.  I brace myself.  I can already tell this is not going to go well for me.

She continues… “My mom, she’s a big girl, so she has big breasts.”  Yep, wait for it…

“But you…you’re a big girl, but you just have yittle breasts.  They only grew a yittle bit…”

uh huh.  Thank you, my 3yr-old niece, for pointing out the painfully obvious.  I just about cried laughing.  And then I just cried.  And bought a padded push-up bra.

The end.

Portraits of a Lady (tagged by Chris)

Ok girlfriend.  This is for you.

Chris thought it would be fun if we posted some self-portraits.  This is a problem for me because (a) I don’t like pictures of myself; (b) I don’t think I’m photogenic; and (3) I don’t like pictures of myself.

but here you go.

I only did this because (1) I was having a decent hair-day; (2) I went to work this morning and therefore have some makeup on; and (c) I managed to avoid (for the most part) the angle at which my pointy nose looks like it goes on forever, like in this picture…

or this one…

Seriously.

Note to self: avoid this camera angle…

I Have…

I’m running into a bit of a blogging slump – so Prairie Chick’s list seems like a great idea to me…

1. Started your own blog (uh, yes)
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (yeah, just highschool though, nothing cool, unless playing a flute is cool…probably not…)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world – right after highschool with a good friend.  Funnest trip ever.
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis (are you kidding???)
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped (not on your life)
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables (only if sickly and tiny carrots count…)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon (does a half marathon count here?)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset (kinda hard to miss…)
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language (although I did take Latin in University – because I thought it would be *fun* haha)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke (unfortunately)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check (embarrassingly so)
68. Flown in a helicopter (at Grad, I won a free helicopter ride for 4 – so I double dated with my parents and a super fun guy)
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy (my very ratty cloth Raggedy Andy)
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle (yeah baby)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper (when I was a CandyStriper in the hospital)
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one (a very special uncle…)
94. Had a baby (do the bags under my eyes give it away?)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee (good story – was hiking with some guy friends and I felt something pinch my butt, so I whipped around to see which guy had had the nerve to DO THAT and to ream him out, only no one was behind me…and then I got stung on the hand, and then I realized I was probably in the vicinity of a wasps nest…couldn’t sit for the rest of the day, and man did those guys ever laugh…)

well, that was fun.  Except now I feel like I haven’t gone to too many fun places…or done many cool things…how depressing…

Tagged by Chris...

Chris tagged me for this (so exciting, it's the first time I was "tagged" for anything - lol), so here you go...

I am...sweaty. I perspire. A lot. I sweat when I'm nervous. when I'm excited. when I run. really a lot when I run, like looking-like-I-just-showered-wet-hair kind of sweaty. I hate it. And Berry Boy, bless his little heart, has unfortunately inherited this trait from me. poor thing.

I want...to be able to stop yelling at the boys. I think I'm a yeller, and I really don't want to be.

I have...no self control when it comes to good food - if it's there, I'll eat it. and probably have seconds. I just promise myself that I'll run it off later *shrug*

I wish...that my house could sometimes look like adults lived in it - that the blankets could just stay on the beds instead of being dragged all the way to the living room, that the floor would look clean and not sticky, and that the toys would not be scattered hither and yon from one end of the house to the other...or that I had a housekeeper...

I know...that I am blessed beyond measure when I hear my boys giggling and playing, when Berry Baby runs to me with a huge smile and his chubby arms reaching up, when Berry Boy comes to my side and wraps his arms around my waist and says "I love you" out of the blue, when I snuggle into a warm bed beside a warm husband who loves me in spite of myself.

I hate...that hour before supper, when everyone (including me) is tired and getting hungery, and we're all kind of crabby and I'm just trying to get supper ready with Berry Baby clinging to my pant leg and Berry Boy asking repeatedly for a snack and negotiating what kind of snack he could have (as if that would change my mind)...

I fear...the dark (I know I know...but even still as an adult, it kind of creeps me out)

I hear...that caffeine is good for you - especially for running. Something about perceived exertion and endurance...whatever, I'll take it.

I crave...structure and routine. I need it, and it's probably what will make working from home a big challenge for me. And I'm not so great at creating it for myself. But I know I'm always most at ease when there's a good routine in place and things are working out, which is why when my boys were/are small, I work so hard to get them onto a good eating/sleeping routine, or a good bedtime routine. Now if I could just get myself onto a good routine...

I search...for better ways to deal with my own frustration, so that I can teach my boys better ways to deal with theirs

I always...order the same thing at Starbucks - it's either a Caramel Macchiato (grande, triple shot, half sweet, extra hot, low fat) or an Americano Misto (tall, triple shot). Anytime I decide to be adventurous and try something new, I always wish I'd just ordered my usual.

I usually...take until around 10am to be really "up". Like Chris, I wake up grumpy most days and have a husband who wishes I didn't (because he is all chipper and energetic in the morning)

I am not...a "collector" - I hate having junk laying around the house that I am not *allowed* to throw away because we just might need it someday for something. Clutter is my nemesis, and it's names are Berry Guy and Berry Boy

I miss...going to running club in the city when we lived there - there's not much that I miss about city life, but I do miss that - running along the river paths with a group of people who are enjoying the experience as much as me and understand things like "tempo run" and "negative splits" and don't laugh when you say "fartlek"

I love...coffee. and ice cream. and coffee ice cream. *drool*

I never...go to the city without stopping at least once at Starbucks

I rarely...take more than two days to read a book, not because I'm skimming but because the stories usually take me in so much that I can't put the book down and I just have to know how it all ends.


I cry...not very often, but at sad movies, or at sad episodes of Private Practice, but for sure when I have PMS or am pregnant (stupid hormones)

I lose...my temper way too often, and too often at the boys.

I should...spend waaay more time nuzzling and tickling and squishing Berry Baby's soft, chubby tummy and arms and legs - what's more lovely than a bare chubby baby? - this time is going to go way too fast and before I know it his toddler belly will be gone *sniff*

I worry...that I am not a very good mother, that we are making terrible mistakes raising the boys, that one will think that we love the other more, that they will pick wives that I will not like, that my weight isn't where I want it to be, that I'm not running fast enough or far enough...

I dream...of running a sub-55min 10K, or a sub-2:05 half-marathon. If I were really dreaming, I would take another 5min off of each of those, but a girl has to be a little realistic...

so, I guess I am supposed to tag someone else, but my options here are a bit limited as I have a readership of, oh...5? maybe 6? (it's grown from 2). So, I tag Becky and Prairie Chick, if you're in.