I've been riding the healthy-eating-regular-excercising wagon for a while now, and it was feeling pretty darn good. My clothes fit nicely, I felt strong and energetic, and Berry Guy was acting (ahem) appreciative of my efforts.
But then, I developed the dreaded runner's injury, plantar fasciitis, which is a fancy way of saying that my right foot REALLY REALLY hurts. And then it was berry season and I was busy and too tired to do the workouts that didn't involve my foot. And my Mom came. Mostly, my Mom came.
I have absolutely NO willpower WHATSOEVER when it comes to food. If there's a dessert in the vicinity, I will eat it. Ice cream - hand me a spoon. Making cookies? - I eat the cookie dough. As as result of my embarassing lack of control in the face of sweets (especially if they come with a hot cup of coffee) I generally do not keep sweets around, and I only make desserts for company.And so my Mom came, and thought it would be nice if we had dessert every night. And it was berry season, and Berry Guy thought it would be good if we had lots of Coke and Pepsi to drink. And I fell off the wagon. Totally. In fact, the wagon has left without me because I am now too heavy for it to carry me anywhere.
ok, not really. I just feel that way. Because my jeans are tight now, and my belly isn't feeling too firm, and I just generally feel like I look like this
even though I know that I really don't.
I hate struggling with self-image. And it is a huge struggle. Do you ever wonder how you actually look? I often wonder if what I see is the same thing that other people see. And since I'm thinking about it, I guess the same can be said for our insides as well - I often wonder if the way I see myself is in any way close to the way others see me. Are others as hard on me as I am on myself?
I digress. Anyway...today I am going to run and catch up to that wagon. Although I will have to do it slowly, since the foot might be a bit iffy. But I am certainly going to crack down on the eating, and I have a fridge full of fresh veggies to prove it. And I'm going to start right now...or at least as soon as that yummy creamy chocolate-marble cheesecake is gone...crap.
3 comments:
I am right there with you no willpower! and I think that is me in that picture! just kidding...but man I am probably really looking like that..I have learned to deal with it by praying about it and knowing that my self image should be primarily focused on being more Christ like not model like. I make do with what I have and God will take care of the rest...besides my husband loves me and that is really all that should matter as far as I am concerned.
Good luck!
Joy
hahaha! Too funny. I did get off to a good start today - but I had the thought that perhaps I needed to pay as much attention to my spiritual "muscles" as I do to my physical ones, so I began my workout with a coffee and today's Bible reading from Prairie Chick. I think that's part of my problem, I pay more attention to my physical state than my spiritual. Thanks for the encouragement.
oh my goodness, did I ever get a good giggle from the two of you. BG... I don't know how you look in your own eyes, but in mine you are beautiful, inside and out... it always amazes me when I find out people with amazing figures (um, yes, I'm talking about you) struggle with self image too. I should struggle with it more, I get so caught up in everything else that body image is always the last thing I worry about and it definitely deserves more attention than I give it. Hope you had a great run and a great quiet time today!
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