Thankful Thursday (on Tuesday)

ah.  I forgot how good it was to sit down and think about my blessings.  Prairie Chick was right, these posts are therapeutic, and I’m not sure why I stopped doing them.  But it’s definitely time for a comeback, so here we go…

Today, I am thankful:

1. For physiotherapy.  For a wonderful and good-natured physiotherapist who takes it in stride when, after telling me something like “try to stand with your hips spreading apart and your tummy dropping forward”, I look at her with an expression of complete and total “youhavegottobekiddingme”.  Who understands that not running makes me feel like crap, but who reassures me that it will all be ok.  Eventually.

2. For a hip that somehow managed to stay in place for two weeks and does not currently ache to the point that I am taking 3+ Advil every night just so that I can sleep.

3. For my treadmill, which I am gleefully anticipating being able to use later today barring any natural disasters or the rapture.

4. For really good friends, who encourage me even in my pathetic mental apathy.  Who nod and offer consolation and reassure when I declare to them in all of my irrationality that I am getting *fat*.

5. For Berry Guy, who still slaps me on the ass.  Frequently.

6. For Berry Baby, even though he just peed in his underwear and all the way down to his sock, and then reassured me that pee goes in the potty, and then asked for his pull-up instead of his underwear (presumably because he anticipates peeing in his pants yet again sometime today…)

7. For my new laptop.  It’s pretty, and it’s the color of coffee.  Yes.  I know.

8. For Mike, the HP tech guy, who so kindly provided me with the links to download the driver for my printer, and when that didn’t work offered to send me a disk, but also emailed me a different link (which worked), and who responded to all my emails within about 10min of my sending them.  THAT, my friends, is great customer service.

9. For Berry Boy, who’s teeth are starting to outgrow his face.  I love this stage.

10. For my new Lululemon running pants, that I have been wearing just so that I could feel a little bit athletic even though I have not yet run once in them (or at all).  I really really like them.

Now, I know you’re all waiting for me to be thankful for some form of coffee, and I am, but the thing is, now that I actually get to sleep at night (since our successful sleep intervention with Berry Baby), coffee has finally become less of a necessity and more of a pleasure.  So, I’m thankful for that – for being able to drink coffee because I want to, and not because I need to.

argh.

I just really love technology.  When it works for me.

I bought a new laptop (see previous post) which has Windows 7 as an operating system.  I love new things, and I like Windows 7.

A few months ago, I bought a new printer.  It’s wireless, which is awesome.

Would you believe that my new printer is incompatible with my new laptop?  Of course.  My brand new printer has no idea what Windows 7 is, and therefore won’t install.

Now I have *some* techy smarts, and I know enough to know that I have to download a driver for the printer to make it compatible with Windows 7.  Only every time I tried to download the driver I spent an hour getting to 15% downloaded and then it would fail.

Thankfully, HP has some actually helpful tech support that you don’t have to actually talk to, so by emails from my new friend Mike* I was able to install the printer.  In only two days.  And there was great rejoicing.

At least it distracted me temporarily from the fact that I’m not running and am therefore turning into a blob.

Not really, but kind of.

I’m having a complete self-image fail and am avoiding my scale now like the plague. Although, if I were to actually get the plague, I would be pretty much guaranteed to lose weight…. 

On the bright side, I go to physio again tomorrow and if the hip is still where it’s supposed to be, then I will (pleasepleaseplease) attempt running again.  Like probably the second I get back home.

Aren’t you glad that I’m still awake to type all this?  Yep.  Me neither.

*probably not his real name, but who knows.

Things that are going wrong

My name is Berry Girl, and it has been 18 days since my last run.

*sob*

I'm trying to keep a handle on things - I really am. Trying to keep perspective, and not get totally freaked out by the whole not-running-at-all-potentially-losing-my-mind thing.

I always knew that running was great for my mental well-being, but until now I wasn't aware just how good it was. I have been a *little* irritable and crabby, and I'm ashamed to say that my body image has totally crashed. Like my laptop, ironically.

My beloved, precious laptop totally crashed on us the other day. I took it to the city yesterday to get a techy-type guy to check it out, fully expecting him to say "oh, I can totally fix that", hit a few keys and voila - my partially blanked out screen would be put to rights and my computer would suddenly be able to start up again.

Instead, he opened the lid, hit the start button and said, "yeah, you need a new laptop".

Crap.

I *could* send it back to the manufacturer, but as it was no longer under warranty (of course), the problem was such that it would probably cost $700 to fix, and for THAT I might as well just buy new.

Double crap.

Also, last night was supposed to be Bookclub night, which I was totally looking forward to. And, I was hosting. We had just read "Emma" by Jane Austen, and our plan was to kick back and watch the movie. So I cleaned like a maniac, got the basement fireplace clean and ready for a cozy fire, and baked heart-shaped sugar cookies because it is, after all, Valentines month, and "Emma" is, after all, about love...and then about an hour and a half before everyone was supposed to arrive it was cancelled because everyone was sick or otherwise unable to attend. Of course.

So Berry Guy went to get a movie for us to watch together ("The Hurt Locker", which, while it is a good movie, is a far cry from "Emma") and then went downstairs to start a fire in the fireplace and ended up totally smoking the house out. The damper didn't open, or something, and we spent the next hour or so trying to get the horrible smoky smell out of the house. Of course.

Also, Berry Baby keeps crapping in his pants instead of the toilet, which we were sure we were past already. And I keep telling him to tell me that he has to go, to which he enthusiastically agrees, and then proceeds to poop in his pants again.

Also, it has taken one boy and one husband exactly one hour this morning to make the nice clean house look exactly like it does all the rest of the time. Messy.

Also, I'm not convinced that my hip is getting better even though I am being very good and not running and diligently doing my exercises and correcting my posture. Posture correction, incidentally, requires me to "let my hips spread apart" while "allowing my tummy to fall forward". Right. Because those are *totally* two things I want to do - emphasize my Mennonite rear end and my still-jiggly-post-childbirth belly.

To my Physiotherapist's credit however, this does not (I'm sure) look as bad as it sounds, and when I stand the way that she is telling me to stand, my hip hurts considerably less. Which is good.

But really, I miss running. A lot. I miss the sweat, and the good fatigue, and the rock solid sleep it gives me, and the improved mental outlook, and the stress reduction, and the endorphins, and the ability to eat without regard for calories...

I just really really miss it.